fashion advice

Starbucks is full of smart dressers. No, not intelligent armoires; people who be STYLIN.  I enjoy making fashion notes from watching customers, but occasionally I come across a "Don't Do."

Lace tops are awesome.  Great for layering, formal or casual, all super. Sometimes a gal is feeling adventurous and shows off the bra.  Good for her.  But there are three things that do not mix:
lace tops
open jean jackets
and
dudes

He was obviously comfortable with his body.  But I was not comfortable.  Not at all.

"So that's a nipple... I mean a TRIPLE espresso for you sir?"

- Demo

a corporate conversation

Setting: Starbucks corporate office, wherever they decide what music the stores will play
Person One: "How do you feel about slow jams? Saxophone jazz especially."
Person Two: "Oh my gosh, I LOVE it. The more saxophone, the better.  If it's played in elevators, I'm a fan.  It makes me feel like I'm just RISING.  You know?"
Person One: "Totally.  That's it then- during the afternoon lull, elevator-style will waft through every Starbucks in the world."

And that's how I fall asleep on my feet at 2 pm.

- Demo

the loneliest splenda in the room

Do you ever feel alone?  The next time you pity yourself, think about the poor Splenda packet that fell into the Raw Sugar dispenser.

"Where am I?? Everything is so... natural. So... raw.   I don't like it!!"

- Demo

"get out" mopping

Customer: "I see that you're cleaning. Am I in your way?"

Me: "No, not at all!"

Customer relaxes

* mop clatters against customer's chair *

Me (internally): "Thank you for coming in today!  Please come again.  In order for that to happen, you will need to leave. Now is the time for THAT to happen."

- Demo

hello world

Alohaprivietholaciaohallo!  Welcome to the blog.  This is a place for jokes, poems, philosophy and art.  And observations and consternations and innovations and all manner of crazy thinks.  Now that we have inflated your expectations far too much, introductions!--

Your loyal authors are Locke and Demosthenes (Demo for short, since Demosthenes is a bit pretentious...). We are inspired by our current profession-- Professional Purveyors of Caffeine in All of its Various Forms, or PPCAVFs. Starbucks chooses to abbreviate this to Barista.  

Thanks for reading! 

Time for coffee.